Get Talking About Teen Dating Violence
Recent news headlines in Massachusetts spotlighted the reality of teen dating violence when Allison Myrick, a 19 year-old student at Fitchburg State College, was murdered by her former boyfriend. Her devastated family released a statement urging teens to learn from this tragedy, saying, in part, “If this could happen to Alli, it could happen to anyone.” At Casa Myrna, we believe in the power of prevention and for over a decade we’ve been providing programs to help middle and high school students learn to recognize the red flags of controlling behavior that can often lead to abuse.
February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (TDVAM), a national campaign to highlight this very serious but all-too-often overlooked issue. So what are the steps you can take to protect the teens in your life, or to protect yourself if you happen to be a young adult? First and foremost, talk about it. Treat it like a disease: learn the symptoms. Don’t shrug off language that demeans or degrades women: it’s a starting point for the loss of respect that can lead to patterns of abuse and violence.
CLICK HERE for local TDVA Month Activities!
A relationship free of abuse as a human right
“Why would someone being abused stay in the relationship?” incredulously asks a 14 year-old boy at a recent workshop led by Casa Myrna’s Education and Prevention Specialist. “Yeah, I don’t get it,” chimes in another teenager. “I’d just leave.” And so the questions flow as Amanda answers, providing information about teen dating violence and domestic violence and allowing the students’ questions to inform the conversation. “My goal is to empower the students by having them realize that everyone has a fundamental right to be safe in a relationship and everyone deserves to be in a mutually respectful relationship,” Amanda said.
On any given month, Amanda visits a handful of schools, youth centers, and colleges/universities to discuss the essential components of respect and safety in a relationship. Workshops cover the basics about the dynamics of abusive relationships, the warning signs, and different types of unhealthy and controlling behaviors in order to dispel the myth that domestic violence only encompasses physical violence. As Amanda points out to youth, incessant texting from a romantic partner could signal controlling behavior and represent a red flag because that person is needing to know where their partner is at all times: what they’re doing, who they’re talking to, etc. CLICK HERE to see the cycle of an abusive relationship.
After the typically lively conversation, Amanda offers information about resources like SafeLink, the statewide 24/7 domestic violence hotline, to those that might need them. SafeLink is available to anyone, day and night – it’s a safe space in which to discuss concerns about a relationship, a romantic partner, or even a friend about whom the caller may be feeling concerned.“I wish this [type of education] existed when I was in school” is a common response that most teachers give after a workshop is given at their school.
WATCH the WBZ-TV clip about the recent domestic violence homicide which features SafeLink.